its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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