i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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