Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
