he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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