I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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