WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
