I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we're so committed to being not committed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
