I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
