He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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