It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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