Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize