hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
