just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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