??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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