Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So many bounce houses so little time
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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