i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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