id be glad to
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
