Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
