She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
