If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
