Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
