My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
