Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
