So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
