careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
