Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Holy sore nipples Batman
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
