OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
