so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
