My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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