How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
