Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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