I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
