Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
