I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
