Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
