would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
