guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Randomize
