I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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