You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
