Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
