no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Boobs are out for the taking
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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