it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
