I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
