I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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