Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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