Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
