She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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