Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize