I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
