shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
