It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
