yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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