Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
