32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
