New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
