the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You don't make any sense
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