When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
