Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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