using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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