You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
