I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
