Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
