is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
