I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
