I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I would fuck him just for his dog
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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